My first STD was from a foam party
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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