you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
