We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she peed on how many people?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
