he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
