I accidentally burped into my bong.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
