you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
