So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize