So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
