It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
