He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
