i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
