Cold hands, warm shart.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize