i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize