my mouth tastes like poor choices
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
