Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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