I heard we made out
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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