God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
