how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize