So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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