She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
There are leaves in my underwear?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
