I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
