office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
