I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
