i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
