I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
