You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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