Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
