He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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