I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
soo... how was my night?
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