You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
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he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
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I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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