Whod you bang
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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