Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
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I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
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I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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