i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
