if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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