dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
