Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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