Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
