Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
