I'm drive I can fine osifer
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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