Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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