are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
