i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
