hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
