K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
