is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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