Christians are straight up FREAKS
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
