everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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