i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
