It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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