we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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