We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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