absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
