I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
