i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
