He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
