never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
