Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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