Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My pussy is not your playground.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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