I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
