I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
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I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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