he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
