I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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