My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
